I can’t run to any vices to get through this. But on the other end, I am grateful that I’m pregnant right now because I have to process her death with a sober state of mind. “It hurts so bad that she won’t be here for this. “Obviously is something I wanted to share with her,” she says. Walker spoke exclusively with ESSENCE last month about what pregnancy has been like in the wake of such a major loss. I love you mom! Tomorrow will be a tough one to watch (every week has been for me) but I’m watching for my mom! Tune in for Glenda tomorrow At 8/7 cst on #ForeverGlendaĪ post shared by Charmaine on at 9:44am PST
So many more things I want to say but I’ll save it for another time. Something we looked forward to! She still is a grandma though. Only thing I ever wanted was for her to be a grandma. I’m trying my best to get better but this isn’t easy. When I was in college depressed about a boy or how hard life was on my own, my mom would call me and say “something is wrong I can feel it” we were always spiritually connected! Just because she isn’t here physically that doesn’t change things. One day while pregnant I said to myself that new life could mean someone close to me will die n something told me it was my mom. Everything was fine! She was so excited about me approaching my 20 week ultrasound. We got on the phone that night and did our regular girl chat. I got this same flash the night before she passed. The week before she died I kept getting flashes of my mom in a hospital and a casket. One day I told myself that I can’t fixate on the day my mom dies, I have to enjoy her while she is here. My mom lost 4 sisters before the age of 50 and I always had this horrible obsession with being worried about the day my mom would leave. I literally wouldn’t be able to handle it. I would hope that nothing in my future will compare to losing my mom.
My mom was the absolute best! I still can’t believe she isn’t here anymore.
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